AS PROFESSIONALS IN BOWLING PRO SHOPS, MOST balls react on a given lane surface and how the layout affects performance. But equipment is only part of the formula that leads to a successful shop. The critical piece is the customer, and more specifically, how we deal with him or her, how we develop a customer who walks away satisfied, comes back for more, and -- even indirectly -- sends new customers our way.

Ah, but not every person who comes through the door is a sponge, ready to absorb our knowledge and wisdom. Some people (thankfully, a fairly small percentage) are regular pains-in-the-patootie who make every transaction about as pleasant as a root canal.

To the pro shop, difficult customers fall into several distinct categories:

The Know-It-All. This person watches the Tour and reads all the ads. He can tell you when Doug Kent switched from a 5x4 layout to a 4x4 during the World Championship. He (or she) knows that the particle pearl about to be introduced will have a quarter-inch more or less flair potential. He plans to tell Danny Wiseman (to his face) that he'd have won had he used a symmetrical rather than an asymmetrical core. And the price of his business is a long-winded lecture on all the arcane aspects of the game.

The Game-in-a-Box Bowler. This guy plunks down $150 to $300 for one reason: to increase his average 10 or 20 pins. If the average doesn't go up, it's your fault.

My Ball Is a Museum Piece. This customer fell in love with that shiny surface, and if it gets a scratch or nick, there must be a manufacturing defect that your shop must cheerfully correct.

Go Long and Flip Hard. Maybe two-thirds of 'serious' bowlers fall into this category. In the words of Rich Horsley, owner of Strike It Rich near Raleigh, N.C., they want 'the ball to go 60 feet, then turn sideways. The thought of a ball actually reading the mid-lane and arcing into the pocket must somehow emasculate these Robert Smith wannabes.

I Already Have Game; Just Gimme a Ball That Strikes. Don't tell this guy that he could start carrying ten pins with a better release. If the pins aren't falling, it's your fault. (For years, Tom Kelly Jr., who with his father operates Tom Kelly's Pro Shop in Omaha, put up with a guy named "Charles," who refused to use tape in his thumb hole. "He'd bowl 15 games and come in complaining that we'd drilled the hole wrong, because it was too tight," Kelly laughs.)

Fortunately, while many patrons are fussy, few qualify as the Customer from Hell. But when they do, real talent is called for. The good news, says consumer-relations guru Dave Kahle, is that if that person is in your shop giving you grief, he or she does want to be a customer, although perhaps on terms that you ultimately can't meet. "90% of customers who perceive that they've been wronged never complain; they take their business elsewhere," he says. And if they are complaining to you, "they've not yet decided to take their business to your competition. They are worth saving." (If you handle it right.)

In asking how they deal with difficult customers, several successful shop operators start with one word: "Patience." Mike Austin, who operates Precision Pro Shop in Houston's Dynamic Lanes, says that quality is critical. "You have to be able to control your temper," he says, especially when the customer keeps coming back. "You have to have people skills."

That thought is echoed by Kelly. "You have to have an evenkeel personality," he says. "The old saying that the customer is always right is basically true, but you have to have the ability to steer them and show them how [a bad fit] will hurt their game."

Leroy Heisdorf, owner of Four Star Sports in Fresno, California, says he works very hard to meet demands, even those that cross over into the unreasonable. "I bite my tongue," he says. "The last thing I want is for them to go out and tell someone I did something to upset them." Going the extra mile might include agreeing to take a trade-in, even if Heisdorf doesn't think he can sell it.

Rich Oelkers of Rich's Pro Shop in North Augusta, N.C., says you have to "kill them with kindness." He'll work with a customer, trying to explain why a stretched span is not wise, or why skid/flip might not be best, but in the end, "sometimes I just have to cut my losses and let the customer leave with a ball that's not right for them."

Shawn Belding, another nationally-recognized consumer relations mentor, says listening to the customer is critical. "A huge hot button is when they perceive they aren't being listened to," he writes. And he says you should develop verbal and non-verbal communication that lets customers believe that you really care about them. "Use phrases such as, "Now, I want to get this right for you," or "Let's make this work,"-- he points out. Look the customer in the eye. And always act like you're happy to see them come into your shop.

Most of us are in the business in large part because we like people, and we like helping those people become better bowlers. By honing our people skills, we can help even those with the most distasteful personalities, and perhaps turn them into life-long customers.