IN THE PROCESS OF RELATING TO OTHERS, WE SOMETIMES are prone to confuse that thing called "intelligence" with "common sense." Indeed, quite often, they are not synonymous. Many individuals with high I.Q's have been known to make poor decisions. In this regard, things such as prejudice, bias, sentimentality and procrastination can exert a negative influence. But I believe no greater detractor from the truth exists among people than callous intransigence.

For some of us, it isn't until late in life that we learn not to argue with "mule heads." This is unfortunate, for the time and effort expended could have been invested in a much more productive and fruitful manner. Rest assured, the sooner we learn to heed that adage about leading a horse to water yet getting him to drink, the sooner we spare ourselves much aggravation and frustration. The "mule heads" are those who "don't drink"; they are not susceptible to reason of any sort. Their minds are not only closed, but ensconced in a vault whose code has been lost to posterity. Most of them formulated their beliefs at an early age, and by the time they reached adulthood, these convictions were like an inextractable Excalibur, which no logical reasoning or argument could remove, displace or dislodge.

A wise man once said, "It is impossible to reason a man out of something he has not been reasoned into." This is an illuminating truth about stubborn people, for having acquired their beliefs via emotional means, they can't be enticed out of them via rational discourse. And it makes matters only worse to argue with them. They become more defensive, more adamant, more radical and more polarized about their position. All this leads to is more discord, if not hostility. In consequence, the moment you realize you are discussing a controversial subject with a "mule head," it's best to switch the subject to the repercussions of global warming, or the manly art of kite flying.

How can you tell when you are dealing with a "mule head?" There are several tip offs that afford us a clue. For instance, they are fond of quoting texts, which they have memorized to the word. Most often, these are quotations that are taken out of context. Or they espouse a horde of statistics, which they have garnered from questionable sources. Or they tell you about a personal experience, which they now attempt to generalize into a universal concept. Logic, of course, has little

Having coached many professional bowlers, I can truthfully say it saddens me to recall many who failed to reach their lofty potential simply because they shared this stubborn streak. For example, I recall a bowler who had the privilege to work with one of the greatest coaches in the game, John Jowdy... and he "blew it." John got this player to the level where he was about to seriously challenge the likes of Anthony, Roth, Weber, et al, when he stubbornly decided that he now knew more about his game than the master. From that point on, we watched in disbelief as he plummeted into mediocrity.

And then there are bowlers who stubbornly refuse to credit coaches for much of their success. By some twisted reasoning, they believe that giving credit to their tutors somehow lessens their stature and prowess. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I recall the famous opera singer, Robert Merrill, who was asked how he came to realize his extraordinary talent. He answered, "When I was 12 and singing in the shower, I recognized I had a good voice. At the same time, I knew that I needed a good coach to develop it. After trying out five or six, I finally settled on the one who came through for me.

"But let's not give him the entire credit. Keep in mind that part of my talent was knowing who to select as the right coach for me."

AND NOW, FOR THE OPEN-MINDED...

Below are some do's and don'ts when bowling.